On the Job: Listen to find right tools to persuade
She may be "only" the receptionist -- like Jenna Fischer's Pam Beesly Halpert in "The Office" -- but she can be very influential, so don't make the mistake of writing her off.(Photo: Chris Haston, NBC)
Remember the first time you heard about Twitter?
At the time, you may have scoffed and said you could care less about what someone ate for lunch. But years later, with 400 million monthly visitors, the social network that uses 140-character tweets shows that millions of people obviously feel differently.
COLUMN: How to persuade potential clients[1]
Millions of people follow famous personalities or celebrities on Twitter to see what they think. Not content with that information, they also may regularly check Facebook, LinkedIn and other social networking sites to stay abreast of what co-workers are doing or what industry leaders are saying.
That drive to know what others are saying or tweeting provides important lessons for those who want to be more influential, says Kurt W. Mortensen, author of Maximum Influence.
"Social validation boosts your influence," he says. "People will always believe someone else before they believe you. We think that if someone likes you or your product, then it must be good."
That means recommendations on LinkedIn or "likes" on Facebook can boost your influence, as can your ability to tailor your persuasion skills to individuals, he says.
"Probably one of the biggest mistakes we make in trying to influence others is trying to persuade them in the way we like to be persuaded — and not the way they like to be persuaded," he says. "Most of us only have three or four persuasion tools, and that's another mistake."
A person has many ways to persuade others, from conveying the right body language to telling stories that evoke emotion, Mortensen says. The key is listening carefully to garner enough clues to use the right techniques so the other person is moved to trust you and believe what you're saying.
"I'm not talking about manipulation," he says. "It's not persuasion if it's not a win-win for everyone. But if you believe in a product, then I believe you have a moral obligation to persuade someone to buy it instead of letting them go with an inferior product from someone else."
Telling a story can be an effective tool in making your point and persuading a colleague, or prospective boss.(Photo: Hemera Technologies, Getty Images)
So if you have a great idea for your company, then you need to also find the best way to persuade your boss to accept it.
Such a move can be tricky because you have to be careful, Mortensen says. You don't want to step on the boss's ego.
"Make sure you're asking the right questions so that you're sort of leading the boss down the path you want him to go. Don't just dump data on him," Mortensen says. "It doesn't matter if he ends up thinking the whole thing was his idea. Check your ego at the door if you really want to get something done."
Whether trying to influence the boss or a roomful of colleagues, he says one of the best ways to get others to follow your direction is through the use of stories.
That story will help the most if it is emotional, according to a University of Pennsylvania Wharton School study. Researchers found that of 7,000 newspaper articles in The New York Times, those that go viral on the Internet[2] are those that arouse emotions, such as happiness, anger or anxiety.
Another way to boost your influence: Don't make the mistake that only higher-ups have the power to make things happen, Mortensen says.
For example, a job candidate should never dismiss a receptionist as unimportant. The boss might consult this receptionist before making the hire. If so, the receptionist wields influence, and a job candidate needs to convince her that he or she is the best candidate.
"The most influential people are those who have people do things for them because they want to, not because they have to," Mortensen says. "People are more skeptical these days, so you have to be willing to work harder to gain their trust."
Anita Bruzzese[3] is author of 45 Things You Do That Drive Your Boss Crazy ... and How to Avoid Them, www.45things.com[4]. Twitter: @AnitaBruzzese[5].
References
- ^ http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/jobcenter/workplace/crom/story/2012-01-13/how-to-give-persuasive-presentations/52528712/1 (usatoday30.usatoday.com)
- ^ 7,000 newspaper articles in The New York Times, those that go viral on the Internet (marketing.wharton.upenn.edu)
- ^ Anita Bruzzese (www.linkedin.com)
- ^ http://www.45things.com/ (www.45things.com)
- ^ http://twitter.com/AnitaBruzzese (twitter.com)